The Political Republican Opinion:
My wife told me not to wear it. She’s always so concerned about offending people, whereas I seem to thrive on it (why she puts up with me, I’ll never know).
We were getting ready to go out to the karaoke bar down the road from us and I decided to wear my NoBama T-shirt. I like to be relaxed when I sing karaoke and prefer to don a T-shirt and jeans versus the “star” wannabe outfits you see some of the karaokites wear. I know … at this point, you’re thinking to yourself two things … “a conservative who sings karaoke?” and “c’mon, ‘karaokite’ isn’t really a word, is it?”
First, you’d be surprised at how many karaoke singers are political Republicans. I’d say that well over half of the people I know that sing karaoke are. Secondly, “karaokite” is a word if enough people care to repeat the word I just invented! I digress …
So, for a change, I won the “discussion” with my wife (probably because it was my birthday) and off to the karaoke bar we went. Immediately upon entering the bar, people started noticing the NoBama T-shirt. Just so you know, out of respect for the ears of the public at large, I only go out and sing karaoke in public once or twice a year; therefore, nobody in the place knew us. The bartender took our drink orders and said she loved the shirt. I shot my wife one of those “see, I told you so” looks as she rolled her eyes. Soon it was time to sing a song.
There were whistles and clapping as I took the stage to sing my first song, “Yoko Ono” by The Barenaked Ladies. Whistles and clapping are nothing new to karaoke bars as it is common practice to cheer even the worst of singers, so I thought nothing of it. After all, it takes a lot of guts to risk public humiliation on a stage in front of a throng of total strangers. I got through the song without butchering it too badly and then it began … “No Bama, No Bama, No Bama, No Bama.” The chant started at one table and soon spread throughout the entire bar. I gave two thumbs up, a nod and left the stage to return to the table and my wife.
Needless to say, we had quite a few complete strangers come down to sit and talk with us that night. Everybody wanted to know where I got the shirt and to, of course, talk politics. It’s amazing; but, even when drunk, political Republicans make far more sense than the soberest of liberal Democrats. Every time my name was called to return to the karaoke stage, the chant started up all over again … “No Bama, No Bama, No Bama, No Bama.”
We had the best night I can ever remember having at a karaoke bar. When we jumped into the car to head back home, my wife looked at me and said, “I can’t believe nobody came up and said something nasty about that shirt.” Having had a few extra birthday drinks, I looked at her, snorted and said, “Liberals are all pussies; they’d never have the balls!” (What can I say, I may be a political Republican, but I don’t necessarily toe the line of political correctness.) She shook her head, frowned and rolled her eyes once again.
The purpose of this article is threefold, I guess. Number one: Always marry an angel; she’ll put up with far more of your crap than you deserve. Number Two: Get an Obama T-Shirt; you’ll be surprised by how many people you meet who think just the way that you do and how many who don’t that are too cowardly to say anything at all. And, Number Three: use the word “karaokite” as often as you can until it catches on; if nothing else, my epitaph may someday read, “Here lies a man who invented an utterly ridiculous word.”
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