Political Republican Opinion:
The neighborhood homeowners’ association where I live would probably describe me kindly as an “agitator.” I am always challenging the money they are spending on things and frequently point out ways to do things far cheaper or better companies to use.
The board members are quite happy with their “elected” positions and the power they hold over the neighborhood. I would not be surprised at all to learn someday that some of them were receiving kickbacks from some of the high-priced vendors they have contracted to do business with on the community’s behalf.
I am often asked by the “regular” folks in the community, “Why don’t you run for president of the association? We need someone like you to control how these people are spending our money!”
I shrug and say, “Sorry, I’m really not into all of the politics.” (Little do they know that I write this blog.)
“I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing, watching from the outside,” I say.
I guess that all changed tonight. This election is obviously getting to me.
At first, Halloween went as it normally does. Kids showed up at the door and they all got two pieces of candy. Things went swimmingly well. I got the polite “thank you’s” and the children went happily on their way.
Then, as the night wore on and it got later – you know, when the teens are the only ones who are still out and about – I decided to CHANGE things up.
Four older kids showed up at the door. They weren’t dressed terribly creatively; they were just out for the free candy. I looked into their bags and saw that some had more than the others. I gave the kid with the least amount of candy in his bag three pieces, the one with the next least amount got two pieces, one kid was given only one piece and the kid with the most in his bag, got nothing.
“Dude, I didn’t get anything!” the last kid said. “Yeah, and they got more than me,” the kid who only got one piece said.
“Sorry, my man,” I told the first kid, “I’m just trying to prepare you for the future.”
“If I did what Barack Obama wants me to do,” I told him, “I would have taken some of your candy and given it to the other three.”
“You gotta spread the wealth dude, it’s the patriotic thing to do! Just ask Joe Biden,” I said.
“That’s not fair!” the shorted kid said. “I’ve been out here for an hour more than the other guys.”
“So you think because you worked harder, you should get more candy?” I asked him.
“Well, yeah!” the kid said.
I told him that he better get used to it. “If Obama wins, this is how things are going to be with everything. If you don’t like it, tell your parents about it. Better yet,” I added, “make sure you let your teacher know!”
To set the record straight, I only did that once. I forget how young I was when I learned to string a series of completely unrelated cuss words into a sentence that seemed to make complete sense. This kid had it down, though!
I did do something else, however, that proved to be unpopular. This, I kept up throughout the night.
The school system, in their infinite wisdom, gave all of the children UNICEF boxes and told them to ask for donations while they were trick or treating. Not knowing this, I did not go to the bank and get a couple of rolls of quarters and I don’t have hundreds of dollars in bills to hand out either.
Fortunately, most parents told their kids to leave the boxes at home. Halloween is not a time to go soliciting money door-to-door, they rightly reasoned. I did, however, have a handful of kids who showed up with the boxes, asking for donations.
I asked them all the same two questions. “Do you know what UNICEF is?” was the first question I asked. To all but one, I had to explain that it stands for the United Nations Children’s Fund and that it exists to help the children of the world who are hungry, sick, abused or need schools built for them.
“I’ll let you make the choice,” I told them. “Either I can give you two pieces of candy or I will give you a dollar to put in your UNICEF box. Which do you want?”
Not a single child sacrificed his candy for the children of the world (future Democrats, I’m sure).
One parent (she has Obama signs in her yard), got mad and told me it was outrageous for me to ask a child to make such a decision. “Okay,” I told her, “you decide!” She told me to give her child the candy and stormed off in a huff, dragging her son by the wrist.
That’s the difference between Democrats and Republicans. My parents never would have let me take the candy over voluntarily helping someone else. Of course, they probably never would have let me walk around with the box - putting my neighbors in an awkward position - in the first place!
This is why I’ll never run to become the homeowners’ association president. I ruffle too many feathers trying to do the right thing. People don’t like it when you try to actually educate their children. Lord knows the public school system isn’t doing it.
I don’t know … If I did run, how many votes do you think I lost tonight?
Political Republican Opinion Quote of the Day: “Under capitalism man exploits man. Under socialism the reverse is true.”- Polish Proverb
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